He’s scared about sex during my period

Dear Aunty Julie,

My guy and I don’t draw lines about when or when not to have sex but
things have changed lately. My partner is now scared about having sex
when I’m menstruating or having breakthrough bleeding.
love
love

His male friends told him that menstrual material could get lodged in
his urethra and cause an infection. That doesn’t make sense to me. How
could menstrual material be any more infectious than other body fluids
that are exchanged during sex?
Lola, Ekiti

Dear Lola,

You’re right. Menstrual fluid is no more likely to infect a woman’s
partner than sweat, saliva, or vaginal secretions caused by sexual
arousal.

Unfortunately, your partner’s friends are not the only ones who have
been misinformed.

History taught us a lot about this. Menstruation has been misunderstood
and feared in western civilization for thousands of years.

The ancient Hebrews believed that menstruation was one of many ritual
impurities that required ritual cleansing. By the time of the early
Christians, menstruation was seen as a physical pollution that caused
all kinds of illness and disease, as well as spiritual pollution.

For example, in the year 562, the Archbishop of Arles in France
declared, “Whoever has relations with his wife during her period will
have children that are either leprous or epileptic or possessed by the
Devil.”

It is amazing how long it is taking to dispel such unhealthy notions.
The widespread western phobia about menstruation was one of the excuses
used until well into the 20th century to bar women from many activities
allowed men: standing near or touching the altar of a church, singing in
 a church choir, or getting an education.

In some parts of the world, however, menstruation was seen as a source
of great physical and spiritual power. In certain cultures of the South
Pacific, for example, men ritually cut themselves to bleed so that they
could claim that they, too, had periods.

Today, we understand that menstruation is an important part of the
fertility cycle of women. We know that human females have a greater
menstrual flow than any other animals.
That is because many blood vessels are needed to support the development
 of a human fetus if a pregnancy takes place.

When pregnancy does not take place, the supporting tissue and blood is
lost in a woman’s menses, and new supporting tissue develops to prepare
for ovulation in support of another potential pregnancy if fertilization
 and implantation take place.

We also know that there is nothing dirty or unclean about menstruation.
We know that menstrual fluid itself is not infectious, and it does not
cause disease or sickness. Many women today enjoy their periods as a
proud reminder of their femininity.

Many others see it as an uncomfortable inconvenience that they could do
well without. And many have found that they can enjoy their sexuality
and express themselves sexually during menstruation.